It feels so foreign yet familiar to be back in California. It feels so odd now to think this is the place I’ve grown up almost my entire life. Because even though I know it well, it almost feels like I don’t belong. Like I’m not native to my own land. My two short years in Guam made such an impact on me as an adult. I think living there and seeing other places of the world, how different people are and how different cultures are made me realize I’m not meant to live here. Newport Beach although it may be my hometown is not meant for me. I feel the itch to go somewhere new, explore new things, meet new people, just not here. I feel like a misfit among people I grew up with. Its so weird. I don’t feel like anyone understands me when I try to explain it either. They think I’m just odd. But that’s okay. I’m starting to be okay with being myself even if it means other people not understanding. Everyone is losing their will to be weird, to explore the unknown, to understand the crazy. I’m just beginning to embrace it. I need to go on a trip soon of some sort. I’m thinking Palm Springs, Big Bear or San Francisco. We’ll see where life takes me though.